Tomorrow was going to be my first day of selling cars, and I was nervous. My buddy and I decided to go get something to smoke to 'calm my nerves', if you know what I mean. Only problem was, my license was suspended, for not paying a ticket. My buddy, however, had a valid license. For reasons I still cannot explain, I drove us to our connection's house, a good 25 minute drive. Before we depart, I turn to him and jokingly say "My license is suspended, if we get pulled over, your too drunk to drive."
I should clarify that he had not been drinking. He did not even like to drink really, yet I decided to be the driver.
Now I should tell you a little something about my car at the time. Saying it had electrical problems was an understatement. The A/C, radio, and entire instrument panel, including speedometer, were shorted out entirely. Not to mention a hole in the muffler the size of Texas.
15 minutes later, we are lost in the middle of nowhere when we pass a cop on a country road, going 15 MPH under the speed limit. As we pass him, my buddy point to him and says "He's going to pull us over." Sure enough, as soon as he passes us, the lights come on. I pull over, and remind my friend of our plan.
The cop strolls up to the car and asks my my information. I hand it over, saying nothing of the suspension. I begin my 'story' of picking my friend up at a bar that we went to after work, where he proceeded to get plastered. he had called me, apparently looking for a ride to our mutual friend's house to spend the night, where we were en route to now. The cop went back to his car. and ran our info. My friend and I were on the verge of wetting ourselves.
He came back to the car, looked me in the eyes, and said "Did you ever get a ticket in the Town of Manlius?"
"Yes Sir"
"...and did you pay that ticket?"
"No Sir"
"That's my your license is suspended, do you know what that means?
"No Sir"
"It means I'm placing you under arrest for aggravated assault with a motorized vehicle, do you know what that means?"
"No Sir"
"It means your going to jail...
My heart hit the floor
"...but your doing the right thing, because your buddy is clearly hammered. Where are you going?"
We proceeded to give him the dealer's address, and he escorted us, light and all, all the way there. When we arrived, he pointed his spotlight in the driveway for us, and sped away.
I started my new career selling cars a little more confident in my abilities, having talked my way out of being arrested for driving without a license, and into a police escort to go buy weed.
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