Everybody's Saved. Now Could Somebody Buy Me Breakfast?
Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: You are all sinners. Jesus Christ is coming and you are all going to be condemned to hell. Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I'm Jesus. Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: Jesus is coming and you all will be dining with Satan. Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I'm already here. I'm Jesus. Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: No you aren't. Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I'm telling you, I'm Jesus. How do you know I'm not Jesus? NYU hipster: My lord! You have returned!