>>Steps
1. Choosing an appropriate target is key to a successful fannie slap. We must select a friendly mark that will not press charges. However, even the slapping of strangers is encouraged in the proper environment.
2. Timing is essential to proper hindquarter slappage. The element of surprise is paramount to executing the perfect hindquarter slap. The target must be unsuspecting and bent over. Their derrière must be the zenith of their body.
3. Choose your dominant hand, extend the palm and fingers to maximize surface area.
4. Generate enormous hand speed by swinging the palm back and then rapidly forward.
5. Step through the target, bringing the hips along. This power emanates from the core of the body and can produce horrific impacts.
6. Speedily back pedal. Protect your own backside because retaliation can be brutal and swift.
7. Do not, under any circumstances, accept blame.

>>Tips
* The thumb's position is widely disputed. Some experts claim that an outstretched thumb can lead to injury or even death. While others maintain that keeping the thumb tight against the palm increases hand speed and can deliver a more devastating blow.
* It's all in the hips.
* Force of impact is derived from the legs and hips, mastery of such technique can take years.
* Some experts insist that grabbing is standard, however, the increase in penalties is substantial.

>>Warnings
* This may result in job loss, divorce, or world famine.
* Incarceration is also an occupational hazard. A standard sentence of 7-14 months probation is typical.
* Pain is a very real consequence for both parties involved (fannie and palm). Adjust intensity of the slap to the situation.

>>Things You'll Need
* Hand.
* Unsuspecting Victim.
* Desire.